My husband and I always wondered how long it would take our girls to figure out that our family is a bit different. As a half-American, half-Italian family living in the UK, we may look like everyone else, but we certainly don’t sound or feel like everyone else. And by “we”, I mean my husband […]
He Will Buy the Cow
“…and one last thing you should never ever forget, if you give the milk away for free, there’s no reason for him to buy the cow.” I really wish I could say that I grew up on a farm surrounded by livestock who romped with me in golden fields. Alas, I did not. My mother’s […]
The Twelve Step Guide to Surviving Lice, Worms and Other Parasites
Four little words that strike fear into the hearts of every mom: “Mommy, my _________ itches!” Congratulations, you are the newest contestant in the Parasite Rodeo. You and your partner have got at least 48 hours of a bucking bronco-style wild ride in front of you and there ain’t nothing to hold onto but each […]
What the heck is she saying?
Everyone talks about the upsides of raising multilingual children. Just ask me. I’ll tell you how they’ll be smarter and prettier and just plain better than all of their peers. It will be research this and studies have shown that and I’ll never let you get a word in edgewise. Do you know why? Because […]
When a BA in Booty Calls Ain’t Enough
Geneva, Switzerland. Summer 2003. In Da Club is at the top of the charts, it’s the hottest summer in Europe in 100 years and the only thing higher than the temps are the tempers of the G8 protesters in Geneva. Newly single for the first time in years, there I sit right in the middle […]
A Letter to My Future Teenage Daughters
Yesterday you were born. Today you are three and five. In the blink of the eye you will be thirteen and fifteen. Teenagers. It takes my breath away. As I sit here and watch you two play in the garden, I can’t help but think of all of the words of advice I need to […]
Real Morals of the Disney Movies
Over the past five years, my kids have spent nearly 20,000,000 hours watching Disney movies. Ok, fine, that might be a bit of an exaggeration…but not by much. After all of that time spent in front of the boob tube, I can count up the things they’ve learned on one hand: All princesses wear pink […]
Why I Shoved My Kid Down the Slide
We’ve all been there. We’re standing at the bottom of the playground slide. A line of kids ten deep is stacked up at the top. And blocking up the whole process sits a sobbing, snotty, mess of a toddler: ours. It seems like most of the so-called parenting experts nowadays are telling us to intercede […]