All the Times My Kids Ruined My Sex Life

romance novel vs real life

My kids don’t want any more siblings. Oh sure, they might *say* they do, but as soon as I even think about the giving the one-eyed snake a little attention, those two little cockblocks start popping up faster than a whack-a-mole. Take the other morning for example. My husband sleepily rolls over and snuggles up […]

Not All F Words Are Created Equal

Shocked woman covering her mouth with hands

The first time I said the F word, I was eight years old, and it was such a traumatic experience that I still remember it 29 years later.  There I am, standing in the school bus aisle, staring down at my arch-nemesis. I think he’s cute, he thinks I’m cute, but at 8 years old […]

The Mother-in-Law Visit (in gifs)

mother in law

If a picture is worth a thousand words, it is safe to assume that each of these videos represents a million cursewords left unsaid when my mother-in-law comes to visit. When I realize that my mother-in-law arrives in less than 48 hours and my house is a cesspool What I want to do What I […]

The Ultimate Guide to Staycations

mother hiding during a staycation

Spring Break Vacation. Calling anything involving kids a “vacation” is a JOKE! Once you are a parent, the only true vacation begins with you and your kids getting in vehicles going in opposite directions. Since most of us aren’t made of money, we have to try and convince ourselves that staying together at home counts […]

An Open Letter to 1D’s Zayn Malik from a Mom

zayn malik

Dear Zayn, Normally when I have to talk with kids about a beloved pop star leaving the public eye, it’s because they’re dead. That seems to be the way it goes nowadays. A crazy rise to stardom, a seemingly never-ending series of stunts and stories to make them bigger, better, badder, crazier, more slutty, more […]

12 Facebook Friend Requests We Love to Hate

Facebook friends we love to hate

Finding out someone wants to be your friend used to be a cause for celebration. Used to be. Thanks to Facebook, now we’re all inundated with requests from people that we love to hate. Don’t believe me? Check out my list below, and for god’s sake, if you recognise yourself in any of these, please […]

Ten Things Your FitBit Wants To Tell You

fitbit

In our twenties, when our fat pants got tight we’d just walk around the block a couple of times and not eat bread for a week. Not so nowadays. One of the great indignities of middle age is realizing that you are no longer capable of managing your weight without supervision. It doesn’t matter what […]