6 Ways to Make Supermarket Checkouts Less Sucky

Supermarkets suck

Taking kids to the grocery store really, really sucks. I don’t take my kids along often, but when I do, I end up using my evil witch voice before we even get past the produce section. By the time I make it to the checkout, I am sweaty, grumpy, frazzle-haired and in no mood to cool my heels in a line five people deep. Big surprise, my kids aren’t too pleased with the wait either. Here are six ways stores could make the supermarket checkout a little less sucky for us parents: 1. 12 Items or less? How about “Two Read More …

When You Don’t Have the Words

OneDay video app

If you’re not a writer like me, trying to find the words to tell your kids all the things you want them to know can be hard. And since you’re a mom, trying to find the time to put down whatever words you do have is even harder. There are a million and one things I want/need to tell my kids but I don’t know where to start. Most of the advice I have in my head is stuff they don’t need to know for another (hopefully) 10-15 years. Things like “This is what a tramp stamp looks like after Read More …

How I Taught My Daughter to Embrace Her Differences

The Change Your Name Store

My husband and I always wondered how long it would take our girls to figure out that our family is a bit different. As a half-American, half-Italian family living in the UK, we may look like everyone else, but we certainly don’t sound or feel like everyone else. And by “we”, I mean my husband and I. Our two daughters, ages 3 and 5, are much less obviously outsiders. When they line up at school with their classmates, two little blond heads in a sea of light-haired and blue-eyed children, and chatter away with their quickly acquired British accents, they Read More …

Raise Your Glass – the Mom Anthem

Raise Your Glass - Mom Anthem Parody

The Summer Anthem. I can remember getting so excited when summer anthem season would come around. Pounding beats, catchy lyrics. I’d turn the radio up so loud and then cruise around town with the cd track on repeat. But now I’m a mom and summer is the last thing that deserves an anthem. Endless days of school vacations, the mom-mobile stinking of stale pool towels and a forgotten wet swimsuit. It isn’t a time for cheering, we’re focusing all of our attention on just making it through until bedtime. But now fall is here. The kids are back in school, Read More …

Dutched Up!

Dutched Up!

If you need an idea, I’m your girl. If you need an idea and you want someone to actually see it all the way through to the end, I *might* be your girl, depending on how many good ideas I’ve had in the same timeframe. The perfect example of this is my new anthology book. I know, you’re all sitting there going, “Whaaa?” because I haven’t said anything before now about a new anthology. Here’s why… In early 2013, in between signing my kids up for English schools and house-hunting online, I was killing time on Facebook and noticed a Read More …

Is Your Vagina a Fixer Upper?

Is your vagina a fixer upper?

The other day I asked my husband how I was looking “down there”. He thought about it for a minute and then used the words “homey, charming and slightly rustic” to describe my womanly real estate. Apparently my vagina is a fixer upper. What was once the jewel of the neighborhood has turned into a shabby lean-to with an overgrown lawn and a leak problem. Now I’m sitting here on the couch with my laptop wondering what I should do about it. Should I embrace it’s warm feelings of home-cooked meals and echoes of children’s laughter? Or is it time Read More …

Dear Playgroup Moms

Four female friends enjoying in talking at cafe

Last year we moved to a new town. A place where we did not know anyone at all. I was nervous, but having done the same thing four years earlier, I figured I had a pretty good plan in place for meeting some new mommy friends. Let’s face it, mommy friends can make or break a place faster than anything else. My plan was this: locate the nearest playgroups, drag my darling children to them and then make new BFF’s in 30 minutes or less. You see, I had exactly two weeks in my new town before I had to start Read More …

How to Make an Awesome Video of Your Kids

OneDay app

Like every other iParent, I love making videos of my kids. Unfortunately, my kids are often less enthusiastic. As soon as I pull out the iPhone, they either start acting like complete monkeys OR they go running in the opposite direction. Either way, I end up with a video that not even a mom could love. One of my friends shared a video the other day of her kids and it was totally adorbs. Like seriously! It looked like a professional had put it together for her. I immediately messaged her. “Where’d you go to make that movie?” I asked. Read More …

I Didn’t Brush My Teeth Today Either

I didn't brush my hair today. I didn't brush my teeth either. I dare you to say something about it.

My husband is out of town so both of the school pick-ups have fallen squarely on my shoulders. Coming on the heels of an already long day, one that began with a 6am wake up to watch Caillou, continued on through a battle of wills over their clothing choices (I lost) and car seat preferences, drained my brain in the office and finally polished off the last of my energy in the dash to meet the pick-up deadlines, this extra school run hits me like a 2×4 to the head. Usually I try and smile at the other parents on my Read More …

A Year of Lying to My Kids

me eating chocolate cake

“You can’t eat that, it will make your stomach ache.” My year of blatant lying starts off with a whimper. My four year old stares at me with tears rolling down her cheeks, mouth open in disbelief that I will not give her the chocolate bar that she wants. “You can’t eat a chocolate bar at 7pm because you’ll wake up during the night with a stomach ache.” I’m lying, I know it and I don’t care. I ate chocolate cake the night before, sneaking downstairs at 10pm and eating it in silence in the corner of the kitchen. Hidden Read More …

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