How to Survive the Holidays with Your In-laws

surviving holiday with inlaws

Ahh, the holidays. The time of the year when we all pay a fortune to spend time with people we don’t like that much….our families. Between shared bedrooms, bathroom lines and the sugar high crashes, it is practically impossible to escape the holidays with your sanity intact. But don’t worry, when you find yourself contemplating stabbing Grandpa Bill with your salad fork, you can turn to this handy guide for some quick tips to get you through. Prepare yourself for the inevitable close encounters of the in-law kind. At some point your father-in-law will walk in on you in the bathroom, Read More …

Peace and Quiet for Everyone

windy

I run up the stairs in my house, taking them four at a time and thinking that this is the closest I’ve come to doing the splits in the last twenty-odd years. I skid to a stop just inside the bathroom doorway and glare down at the two dripping, soggy, crying children. I’d like to say that this evening is an exception, but truth be told, I don’t need to go to the gym because I can count on having to run the stairs at least 22 times before bedtime. My husband asked me what I want for Christmas. And Read More …

Who Will Tell Her She’s Not Beautiful

Who will tell her she's not beautiful

“Mommy, come quick!” my daughter shouts at me from the upstairs bathroom. I fly into the room expecting to find a child half-drowned in the bathtub. Instead I find my five and a half year old standing on the stepping stool and staring at her underwear-clad body in the mirror. “I tilted it down and now I can see my whole body,” she exclaims as she twists side to side and smiles at her reflection. She flexes her arm and comments on her growing muscle. “I’m super strong.” To my eyes she is perfect. She is perfect in her own Read More …

Black Friday Survival Guide

blackfriday

I’m a seasoned shopper. I cut my teeth on credit cards and started training in Back to School sales. I’ve learned the hard way that the Black Friday tsunami is filled with highs and lows. It is not for the faint of heart or the casual shopper. There are spoils to be had, but only if you can win the battles along the way. So before you head out this holiday season, refill your Starbucks mug and memorize all the rules of the Black Friday Survival Guide. Don’t drink your Thanksgiving dinner. When you’ve got to be bright-eyed and sharp Read More …

6 Ways to Make Supermarket Checkouts Less Sucky

Supermarkets suck

Taking kids to the grocery store really, really sucks. I don’t take my kids along often, but when I do, I end up using my evil witch voice before we even get past the produce section. By the time I make it to the checkout, I am sweaty, grumpy, frazzle-haired and in no mood to cool my heels in a line five people deep. Big surprise, my kids aren’t too pleased with the wait either. Here are six ways stores could make the supermarket checkout a little less sucky for us parents: 1. 12 Items or less? How about “Two Read More …

When You Don’t Have the Words

OneDay video app

If you’re not a writer like me, trying to find the words to tell your kids all the things you want them to know can be hard. And since you’re a mom, trying to find the time to put down whatever words you do have is even harder. There are a million and one things I want/need to tell my kids but I don’t know where to start. Most of the advice I have in my head is stuff they don’t need to know for another (hopefully) 10-15 years. Things like “This is what a tramp stamp looks like after Read More …

How I Taught My Daughter to Embrace Her Differences

The Change Your Name Store

My husband and I always wondered how long it would take our girls to figure out that our family is a bit different. As a half-American, half-Italian family living in the UK, we may look like everyone else, but we certainly don’t sound or feel like everyone else. And by “we”, I mean my husband and I. Our two daughters, ages 3 and 5, are much less obviously outsiders. When they line up at school with their classmates, two little blond heads in a sea of light-haired and blue-eyed children, and chatter away with their quickly acquired British accents, they Read More …

Raise Your Glass – the Mom Anthem

Raise Your Glass - Mom Anthem Parody

The Summer Anthem. I can remember getting so excited when summer anthem season would come around. Pounding beats, catchy lyrics. I’d turn the radio up so loud and then cruise around town with the cd track on repeat. But now I’m a mom and summer is the last thing that deserves an anthem. Endless days of school vacations, the mom-mobile stinking of stale pool towels and a forgotten wet swimsuit. It isn’t a time for cheering, we’re focusing all of our attention on just making it through until bedtime. But now fall is here. The kids are back in school, Read More …

Dutched Up!

Dutched Up!

If you need an idea, I’m your girl. If you need an idea and you want someone to actually see it all the way through to the end, I *might* be your girl, depending on how many good ideas I’ve had in the same timeframe. The perfect example of this is my new anthology book. I know, you’re all sitting there going, “Whaaa?” because I haven’t said anything before now about a new anthology. Here’s why… In early 2013, in between signing my kids up for English schools and house-hunting online, I was killing time on Facebook and noticed a Read More …

Is Your Vagina a Fixer Upper?

Is your vagina a fixer upper?

The other day I asked my husband how I was looking “down there”. He thought about it for a minute and then used the words “homey, charming and slightly rustic” to describe my womanly real estate. Apparently my vagina is a fixer upper. What was once the jewel of the neighborhood has turned into a shabby lean-to with an overgrown lawn and a leak problem. Now I’m sitting here on the couch with my laptop wondering what I should do about it. Should I embrace it’s warm feelings of home-cooked meals and echoes of children’s laughter? Or is it time Read More …

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