The Nomad Mom Diary

I'm carrying around a LOT of baggage

What the heck is she saying?

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Everyone talks about the upsides of raising multilingual children. Just ask me. I’ll tell you how they’ll be smarter and prettier and just plain better than all of their peers. It will be research this and studies have shown that and I’ll never let you get a word in edgewise. Do you know why? Because I live in fear that you’ll ask if I understand my kids.

whatisshesaying

I don’t want to admit that I don’t understand my kids half the time. Their brains might be capable of making the language switch but mine is not. By the time I figure out the language du minute, they have gone and switched on me again. This has led to some interesting moments in our house.

There are times when I manage to overcomplicate the simplest request. When my 18 month old came and requested a “khoep”, I spent five minutes going through every cabinet in the kitchen. Cookie? No. Cereal? No. Spoon? No. She wanted a “cup”. A word perfectly pronounced in my own language, and I am the moron who can’t figure it out.

Even as the kids become older and words become clearer, they still know how to throw you for a loop. The other day my 3.5 year old asked if she could “go upstahs”. “Where?” I said. “Upstahs,” she answered with an innocent look on her face. “Who are you, Posh Spice? We say “upsteers” in this family,” I responded.

I have put a lot of time and effort into teaching her California dude-speak, and I won’t have her throw it away to talk like the neighbor’s kid. (Also, I greatly resent her ability to pick up an accent I have spent my whole life trying, and failing, to master. That just isn’t right!)

Let’s not forget the language favoritism that they show. It never works in your favor. Clean up? Forget it. The daycare teacher calls “opruimen” and your little one becomes a singing hoover. Meals are ruined (I said NO PEANUT BUTTER, ONLY PINDAKAAS), grandparents ignored and talking toys are twice as annoying.

So you won’t find me at the pub on a Friday night. I’ll be home watching webinars with a glass of wine in hand and reading up on the latest literature. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep up the façade of genius parenting of brilliant bilingual children. You will never get me to admit that I don’t know what the heck she is saying.

(This post first appeared a year ago on The European Mama)

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Comments

  2. UGH. This is all so true. I am the English speaking minority in a primarily Spanish speaking household. I am constantly like “What?” “Hey… uh, English speaker here?” “Can we speak English for a second?” “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BLEEP YOU’RE SAYING!!!”

    And if I *dare* to attempt to speak Spanish myself, my son is basically like (in English) “Mom, seriously. Don’t even try.”

  3. Haha, I can relate to this so much. My entire family is multi-lingual and sometimes switching languages takes a second. The other day, I had to translate something my 4-year-old cousin said to my aunt cause she didn’t catch it fast enough.

  4. Oh I hear ya on that one – bin, rubbish, pants, garden…all of my vocab is slowly but surely becoming British. I have to translate my own words for my mother. *hangs head in shame too*

  5. My son speaks mostly French right now (unless you count words like “mama” and “bravo” that work in both languages) but today he said “bye” and “I love you.” Pretty good stuff for his first words in English. If he’s just copying what I’m saying, then his next words will be “Mommy needs a glass of wine.”

  7. I could relate to a lot of this. My kids are adopted from China & were thrown in to an exclusively English speaking home when they were 2 and 3. We had some fun language issues/barriers at first, although it is sad to see them lose their first language. Now they speak British English, which is going to be fun when we move to Texas in a couple of months. They’ll be saying “ya’al” in no time..and that makes me a little bit sad. Oh yeah, and my kids regularly say “DAMMIT”. Must have learned it from the telly….