I’ve had about all I can stand of the “it’s five o-clock somewhere” excuse. Five o’clock implies that there is a quitting time, and if there is one thing I’ve learned in nearly five years of parenting, it is that there is no quitting time. We parents are expected to work around the clock.
I’ve decided that we need some new guidelines to say when it is socially acceptable to pour yourself a big glass of the mommy juice. Something based more on when you want to throw your hands in the air and walk away and less on when you finally can sneak out the door for a girl’s wine night.
The new system is simple: the worse your kid behaves, the earlier you can drink. I’ve put some examples into a handy quick-reference chart you can print out and hang on the booze cabinet or wine rack. And just in case someone is around to cast judgement on your behavior, I’ve also included a Day Drinking Permission Slip. Stop sneaking around and go ahead and use the medication Dr. Nomad Mom recommends the most.