Last year we moved to a new town. A place where we did not know anyone at all. I was nervous, but having done the same thing four years earlier, I figured I had a pretty good plan in place for meeting some new mommy friends. Let’s face it, mommy friends can make or break a place faster than anything else.
My plan was this: locate the nearest playgroups, drag my darling children to them and then make new BFF’s in 30 minutes or less. You see, I had exactly two weeks in my new town before I had to start a full-time job. I didn’t have time to float around the edges, testing our personalities until I found the set of moms that were most like me. I needed to get in there and get it done in one visit.
There I was, standing around displaying my best eager puppy face, desperation leaving a sheen across my forehead. I tried no less than 9 times to try and start up a conversation, and 9 times I found myself shut out of the circle of women who wanted to do nothing more that catch up with one another. What I hadn’t factored in was that the other moms at playgroup might not be on the same wavelength.
This is where my heartfelt plea to playgroup moms comes in. I know why you go to playgroup. I really do. I know how much you live for those 60-90 minutes of gossip time with your best gal pals. I realize that those precious minutes might be the only time during the day when you get to have an actual grown-up conversation AND can admit that you haven’t shaved your legs in the last three months (me either…but I digress).
What you need to know is what the playgroup session means to me, Mrs. Newbie Mom. It is likely my only chance for weeks to have an adult conversation about the mummy tummy with someone other than my husband. He loves me, but he thinks it is appropriate to use the word “gym” in that conversation. (It is not. ever. period.) If you choose to ignore me during that first visit, your life won’t change, but I’ll be wandering around depressed for at least another few weeks. I’ll be stuck asking myself, “did we make the right decision” over and over and over again instead of asking you where all the cool moms go to hang out.
The fact is, we Newbie Moms need you. We need you desperately. So if you see us there, and we seem slightly (ok maybe a lot) stalkerish, it is out of sheer desperation for a friend and not any natural tendencies towards psychosis. Please, please, take five minutes out of your coffee chat and come and introduce yourself. Take us around the room and hook us up with another mom. You don’t have to be our new BFF (although that is fine too), you just have to be a facilitator.
Look the bright side, there just might be something in it for you. You never know when that Newbie Mom is going to be an awesome gal who’ll have you laughing, crying and peeing in your pants all at the same time on a regular basis.