We’ve been trying something new over at the Nomad House for the past couple of weeks. When the kids ask for something, the nearest capable person is responsible for responding.
Mind-boggling, I know.
It is all part of my plan to teach them all to fish. And by fish, I mean being able to take care of themselves without mommy having to truck it over and do every little thing for them every single time.
Here’s my secret: despite being a loud-mouth, take no prisoners power woman, I bought hook, line and sinker (get the fishing reference there? Good huh?) into the idea that mommy knows best. Mommy knows best, does best, is best. And everyone else is a poor, poor substitute.
The end result was feeling like I was living in a Dora, The Explorer episode where the chorus was “Wipe butts, Clean up toys, Go to the nutters house”. (Sorry, I know that this will be stuck in your head now. It’s stuck in mine too. But isn’t it worth it to hear Dora saying “wipe butts”?)
Then I woke up one day and realised that my stepping in, time and again, had left Nomad Papa unable to decide anything on his own. “It’s cold out. Do the girls need a jacket?” “Can G have some dinner?” “Should I give the girls a bath?” These are all decisions that a grown man is fully capable of making on his own.
But he wasn’t. And it was my fault. My fault for second-guessing him. My fault for letting the girls get away with demanding “ONLY MOMMY” all the time, even when it meant me dropping what I was doing 50 times in a row.
Like all life lessons, it is not going well. The kids are uber-bitchy and needy, Nomad Papa is getting a sneak peek at the psychosis I call motherhood and I’m balancing mommy-guilt with an over-exuberant amount of bliss. Letting go, even at the price of enduring screams and tears, is still sometimes pure bliss.
But I’ll be damned if they don’t all learn to fish soon.
LETTING GO AT THE DAYCARE
THE PUSH PRESENT
Miley Cyrus at the VMA’s – no surprise there
Who Will Tell Her She’s Not Beautiful
Shawna says
I can TOTALLY relate and I didn’t even know how to put it into words. We are the same dynamic with me prompting all of our children’s needs to the hubby. It just makes me feel like his mom too —- not very sexy right. Keep me posted on your fishing tips 🙂
Magnolia Ripkin says
I love this. On page 837 of the Magnolia parenting guide it says this:
“when you do everything for your children you teach them that they aren’t good enough, competent or capable”
There is no manual, but if there was, that line would be in it.
Way to go Nomad Mama! And don’t let Papa backtrack you.. he just has to learn how to make a ponytale with dora clips.
Ken Morrison says
If this does not work: Take two aspirin and a glass of wine for the headache and call Dr. Mom in the morning. She is still trying to train your Father;)
Dad
Lynn (The Nomad Mom) says
Uh oh, my Dad is now reading the blog. No good can come of this.
Christine says
OMG Lynn! I feel your pain. I am trying to teach my 5 year old to fish right now and it is effin painful. As in I want to start drinking right after breakfast.