Poor Nomad Papa. We let him get away with referring to the family as his harem because he is completely outnumbered. He does his best to hang in there. He has learned the critical difference between pink, light pink, dark pink and NOT THAT pink. He wades through the sequined, polka dot, taffeta and lace explosion that is our home with nary a complaint. He’s a girl dad and he’s gotten it down to a near science.
Except for the hair.
My husband has no idea what to do with our daughters’ hair. For those of you who are new, let me show you what he is up against:
This hair didn’t appear overnight. He’s had quite a few years to learn to manage it. But learn, he has not. Not at all. Here are the top mistakes Nomad Papa makes when dealing with little girl hair:
Comb vs. Brush
Just look at that hair. Does it look like something you’d want to take on with a fine-toothed comb? Heck no! You’d be smarter to arm yourself with a weedwacker. But not Nomad Papa. I recently caught him attempting to tackle the detanglement job using a comb that had been handed down through three generations….of men. Yeesh.
Shampoo vs. All-in-one vs. Conditioner
When I first suggested that the body wash / head wash combination in a masculine musk scent might not be appropriate for a 4 year old girl, my husband seemed perplexed. The confusion only grew when I began using words like “conditioner” and “leave-in detangler”. At first I thought it was a language barrier issue. I was half right. It wasn’t English to Italian, it was Female to Male.
The Blow Dryer
Did you know that you need to blow the hair in the direction you eventually want it to lie? Nomad Papa was shocked as well. He holds it about 5 feet from their head, on low and then just sorta shakes the hair out. Four hours later it has dried to damp. Good enough.
Advanced Hair Styling
Nomad Papa attended the Donald Trump school of styling. One comb-over that begins at the top of the ear and stretches across the head. Most kids burn their middle-school pictures, mine will burn their baby pictures.
What do you guys think? Do I have any hope? Or should I just give up and shave the kid’s heads?