I’d like to talk to you all today about a very serious problem that plagues the Nomad household. Nomad Papa is nearsighted. Or rather, “near” sighted.
His eyes work just fine, his brain does not. And by that, I mean that he gets things nearly done and then crosses them off his list. ALL. THE. TIME.
Take the toilet paper roll. We run out – bad. He gets a new roll – good. He places the new roll on top of the old roll – bad. For the life of me, I cannot understand WHY he can’t spend 1 min of the 15 he is parked on the toilet removing the roll-holder from the wall, taking off the empty carton and putting on the new roll. In our old house, we had one of those holders that is shaped like a sideways “U”. All he had to do to change the roll was slide the old carton to the left and let it drop straight into the trashcan stationed underneath it, and he STILL stacked the new one on top. WTF?!?!?
Ditto with the dishes. When he is feeling especially generous, he will offer to do the dishes. When I am feeling especially stupid AND exhausted, I will accept said offer. He disappears into the kitchen for 30min, water running the entire time, and the next day I find 98% of the items in the dishwasher. Unwashed. WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH ALL OF THAT WATER? It infuriates the hell out of me to find our everyday necessity singular items (bread knife, cheeseboard, etc) dirty in the dishwasher. I can’t decide whether he thinks that they’ll get magically clean just by sitting in there or if he thinks that I have 7 more hidden away somewhere. Probably A, and he is correct as I will clean them.
There is one area of the house where he nearsightedness will someday end up as the motive for me killing him or us divorcing – the laundry. You see, Nomad Papa will tell me that he is “done” with the laundry when all of his clothes have been folded and put away. “I’m done” he says. And he is. But I’m not. I walk in at midnight to find a mountain of unfolded, wrinkled kids’ clothes on my side of the bed and no one around to help.
So I need help. His nearsighted brain is driving me bananas. What is a Nomad Mom to do?
Should You Keep Your Last Name?
Dear Men: Pee Doesn’t Come Out of The Love Tunnel
Not Tonight, Honey
HEY, I’M DONE HAVING KIDS, OKAY???
Teach them all to fish already!
Olga@The European Mama says
I am afraid I can’t help you here, being just as nearly near-sighted as your husband!
Meredith @badsandy.com says
It’s as though you’ve read my mind. My husband firmly believes if he’s done things poorly he’ll never have to do them again. Two Ivy League degrees, he can’t figure out how to work the dishwasher.
Xo
Meredith
Mrs. Chasing the Donkey says
No advice here I am afraid, I have similar issues here. I just focus instead on the fact there is toilet paper there, and I do not have to get up looking for it in my moment of weakness 🙂
Magnolia says
It is time for guerrilla tactics. Hide all toilet paper and carry in only what you need when you go. Put any leftover dirty dishes on his side of the bed, and only wash you and the kids’ laundry. Do so with no words, not really acknowledging why or what, just go about your business. When he starts to lose it, tell him why.
Lynn (The Nomad Mom) says
This is either brilliant or is going to end us up in divorce court.