A good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer. When someone you love says to you, “I have brain tumors,” your own brain either immediately shuts down or else it starts to run around like a squirrel hunting nuts. The one thing it does not do is function properly and as a result, you are almost guaranteed to say the wrong thing. It takes a while to realize that the “right” thing to say has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
In my case, the person in question is the type who eats nails for breakfast and then spits them out of her ass to nail our own butts to the wall. She is a mama bear who pulls her little cubs in tight, pats our heads and then explains, in small words we can understand, what we did wrong and how we can do better the next time. She is the rod of steel in our collective backbone and she is the core of gold in our collective heart.
She is, in short, not the type of women you console with meaningless platitudes or a squeeze of the hand. I’d be better off showing up with a spear sharpener and a battle plan than a book of poetry.
So here I sit. Numbness slowly wearing away, finally able to come up with thoughts that don’t seem to be inspired by a dentist’s brew. I owe it to her to offer her the best mental and emotional support I can. I have one goal and one goal only: Finding the funny in cancer.
Finding the funny in cancer is my way of offering my friend a lifeline to who she is. It is about reminding her that she is so much more than a diagnosis. It is about bringing some levity into the shock and awe that is radiation and chemo. It is about providing a counter-balance to all of those people who will shower her with tears and grief, so much of it unintentional. Finding the funny is escapism in its purist form.
For the next few weeks, months, whatever it takes to get her through to a safe place, some of my blog posts are going to be aimed at bringing funny to cancer treatment. Each time I do one, I am going to add a link to a cancer-related charity. If you have any suggestions for me, please leave a comment or send them to me via the Contact page. I’ll take all the help I can get.
So for you, my dear friend – you know who you are, here is your funny for today:
The No Make-up Selfie
Today’s Charity
Since she’s Canadian, I thought we’d start off with the Canadian Cancer Society. You can click on the logo to go straight over to their site.
Funny for YOU!
I happen to know for an absolute fact that my friend LOVES my new book. I’m sure it will be tucked in a side pocket of her hospital bag and will entertain her through the long, dull hours. Why not join her by ordering a copy of your own?
Motherhood: some travel required
What My Parents Taught Me About Parenting
The Telephone Game
Savvy spending this Christmas
Miley Cyrus at the VMA’s – no surprise there
Tiffany @ MyDirt says
Great post Lynn! We are circling the wagons and will fight for her. XO
Tom says
You are brilliant.
Magnolia says
Lynn,
If you ever have to look back on your life and make your “list of cool shit you did that mattered” please put this post on there.
We all have to use our talents to get through life. I know my writer friends will take their incredible talent and write words that help people. If my story inspires anger, and a sense of deep unfairness, then do something with it. Write about it, and remind me that I still have too many stories to tell to roll over and let it run me over.
Thank you for this.
Pamela says
I love you LMo. Another great cancer charity letsfcancer.com
Xoxo
Jody says
Let’s do this!! Fight along side our Den Mother!
Michelle says
Fabulous. You’re fabulous. She’s fabulous. And WILL beat this bitch with not only her own strength but with the strength and humor of good friends like you. Laughter is a powerful healer!
Courtney says
When Scott went through treatment after treatment and spent many days in the hospital, we learned to make MANY jokes that made those outside of our cancer world uncomfortable. Today, now that he’s gone, I’m so glad we were able to find so many moments of laughter when it would have been easier to cry. Praying for you and your friend, with every ounce of positive thoughts and prayers I have.
Amy - Funny Is Family says
Levity is my JAM. You’re doing a great thing for your friend, and I’m sending her prayers and well-wishes.
Renae Heppner says
This is a fantastic idea! It has taken me the better part of the week to refocus and finding ways to help our friend. I am starting with cookies, today is a baking day! <3
Bronwyn Joy says
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s diagnosis. Hope she gets through with less grief and more laughter than she’s thinking is possible right now.
Jodie says
First of all, Thank you for doing this for our mutual friend, obviously her friends are as amazing as she is!
Secondly, you could not of described the initial shock of her diagnosis any more accurately. I was that squirrel running around with a head full of nuts, confused and stunned, not knowing how or what to say!
Thirdly, you hit the nail squarely on the head of who this person is and how she deals with life and its adversity. She is a fighter and a conqueror, she is brave and stubborn, she has drive and passion and if anyone can beat this demon it is her!
I will follow along on this journey with the two of you, contributing where I can. She asks us not to pray for her just send cookies, I am doing both for her if she likes it or not!
I am assuming she is following along too, so for you my friend know that you are an inspiration to all of those who know you, you are loved and cared for more than you may know and plan on having the Halloween party at our house this year. I will give you a break this time!
Meredith says
Your friendship is the perfect kind. Keep helping her laugh while she spits those nails!
Kyla@Mommy's Weird says
Great idea. I take part in RELAY FOR LIFE each year. I am so sick of cancer.
Stella Cooper says
What a wonderful way of using your talents Lynn! Your blog has been and will be such a wonderful gift to our friend as she takes the monster by the ears and scares the crap at out HIM!
We are so lucky to be in Canada and more specifically in British Columbia with one of the outmost sophisticated and advanced cancer team in the world. This team of incredible doctors, friends, family and somewhat strangers will create a super human force for our friend to pull through and to continue being the amazing chick that she is…
Warmly, Stella
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms says
You are the perfect sidekick with the golden touch. It takes a special person to not only give from her heart but to tailor make the gift for another’s heart. Ellen
Sarah at Journeys of The Zoo says
No one understands what it’s like to live one minute in your life or that of your friends. If funny gets you through the day then I say bring it on.
I look forward to hearing all about how she got the last laugh.
Besos, Sarah
Jess says
I love it. Thanks for shaking a sizable chunk of the sad out of a situation most people don’t have the resources, or courage, to face with humor. When in war, take the beast by the horns… and tickle it pink.
xxx+o