Whenever my kids get backed up, there is one surefire way to guarantee that they will poop: going out for a coffee. I don’t know what it is about a glass of chocolate milk that makes my kids bowels start to rumble or why it only works in cafes, but it works every time. Let […]
PLAY-DOH IS THE DEVIL
I have some general rules to guide our toy purchases. #1 – nothing noisy, #2 – nothing messy, #3 – minimum number of parts and #4 – gotta make the kids smarter. I know, I am a heartless bitch. But there is one guideline that trumps all the others – virtually any toy will become […]
HELLO, SPONSORS? ARE YOU THERE?
In case you have been living under a rock for the past week, you have probably not missed my 1000 requests to vote for me in the Circle of Moms Funny Mom blogger contest. (You can vote here…but come right back.) You might be wondering, “Why in the hell is she hassling us so much […]
I’D LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS
My kid is turning into a lazy bum and I have no one to blame but myself. Here I was, being a “good” parent, taking care of my child and going along with her every whim. And then one day I suddenly realized that I have raised a four year old couch potato that “lets […]
MANDATORY MAKE-UP MOMENT
A friend of mine recently uploaded some new photos of her kid’s third birthday party to facebook. I went through about 10 photos and then came to a shot of her. She looked freaking phenomenal… like a TV version of a 30-something mom. She looked 10 years younger than I am, and I know that […]
RAISING OUR HUSBANDS
When people ask me how many kids I have, am I supposed to include my husband in the total? Because we all know that husbands are absolutely just one more kid for us to manage. You can try and deny it, but have you ever said that you left your husband at home to “parent […]
SNOWPOCALYPSE 2013
Things have been quiet here on the blog because I have been suffering from snowpocalypse fever. Snowpocalypse fever is when you have a bunch of shitty, but funny in retrospect snow-related adventures, but you have to get some distance before you can talk about them. It has now been a little over a week since […]
SCREWED BY SURVIVAL INSTINCTS
When you are a parent, survival instincts usually come to your rescue. Babies somehow know who is mommy, how to get food and how long they can make you go without sleep before you’ll chuck them in a canal. However, there is one area in which survival instincts screw you from every direction. It can […]