I am having one of those days that is going to end with me either punching someone in the face or flushing my own head down the toilet. I am a mega, mega beeyotch. Some people call these kind of days the exception. I call them Tuesday. My husband made the mistake of asking me why […]
Teaching Our Children the Value of the Smile
“Don’t stare,” says my mom as she cuffs the back of my head and nudges me along through the store. I’m 6 years old. Old enough to notice that people are different, but not yet old or experienced enough to know that I’m not supposed to acknowledge that. “Don’t stare. Don’t point. Don’t call attention […]
How to Insult Every Mother With a Single Phrase
I am a full time working mom. Every day I go and sit in an office from 8:30am to 5pm. I am the head of my business area and oversee a team that works underneath me. When the workday ends, I pick up my kids from after-school care, take them home, feed them, wash them, […]
Time Heals All Wounds
When was the last time you went to the doctor? Now when was the last time you went to the doctor for yourself? If you’re like me, you probably can’t remember. I’ve never been one to rush off to the doctor, but even I can see a severe drop-off in self-care since my uterus went […]
Should You Change Your Filter?
I have a bedtime routine. Every night I slip into my room before my husband. I close the curtains and dim the lights. Then I stand in front of my full length mirror and slowly pull my clothes off, piece by piece. It is a show with an audience of one: me. In the muted […]
How to Ask Your Kids for a Raise
“Hi Lynn, if your annual review seems like a chore, try remembering that it shouldn’t be a one way street where your boss is doing all the talking – Make the most of your review and get the recognition you deserve with these handy hints.” I don’t know about the rest of you, but my […]
Not All F Words Are Created Equal
The first time I said the F word, I was eight years old, and it was such a traumatic experience that I still remember it 29 years later. There I am, standing in the school bus aisle, staring down at my arch-nemesis. I think he’s cute, he thinks I’m cute, but at 8 years old […]
9 Gifs That Perfectly Describe My Mother-in-Law’s Visit
If a picture is worth a thousand words, it is safe to assume that each of these videos represents a million cursewords left unsaid when my mother-in-law comes to visit. When I realize that my mother-in-law arrives in less than 48 hours and my house is a cesspool What I want to do What I […]