So I had a rough night last night, but at least I could find some humor in the situation. At first I thanked god that my husband didn’t catch me crabwalking out of our youngest daughter’s bedroom early this morning. Then I began plotting ways to get even with him and her for me having […]
AN ODE TO MY HOUSE CLEANER
Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways: I love that you never complain about the dried bits of playdoh crumbled under the kitchen table. I love that you dispose of all of my wayward hairs from the floor. You keep me from realizing that the kids have made me pull out all […]
MISERY IS KEY TO STRESS REDUCTION
I have two kids, a cat, a dog, a crazy husband, two businesses and an international move to plan in the next three months. Obviously I am a basket case of stress. I am talking the “grinding your teeth down to nubs, stomach permanently lodged in your throat” kind of stress. I used to work […]
PEACE IN THE POTTY
I could say that getting to go to the potty all by yourself with the door closed and everything is like finding the holy grail. Except that might trivialize it. I think it might be easier to find “peace on earth and goodwill to all men” than to find 3 minutes in which I can […]
PAYBACK IS A BITCH
ZEN AND THE ART OF SLEEP MAINTENANCE
Remember when you used to lie down in the bed and fall right asleep? Me neither. The only people who have that skill are kids under the age of 12 and men. Last night was another shining example of my inability to sleep. So I spent the hours from 2-5am mentally crafting this booze and […]
