For months now I have been looking for a way to get out of my alleged “promise” to my husband that I would get a gym membership. (I am pretty sure he made the whole promise up, there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make me commit to the gym…but I digress.) Little did […]
Archives for December 2012
WHY BABBLE.COM MAKES ME CRAZY
My latest rant has been about Babble.com. Some friends recommended that I check out the website. Their humor bloggers sucked me in and so I “liked” their facebook page so I could keep up with their content. BIG MISTAKE! Everyday I am treated the same series of posts. Thanks to the stupid facebook algorithm, I […]
I AM A BAD MOM, EPISODE 552
(Alex – if you are reading this, stop now. Of course I find cursing to be unacceptable. And I would never say a bad word in front of the kids. Don’t be ridiculous.) Is he gone? Ok… I have a relaxed attitude when it comes to cursing. I am not so naive as to think […]
MOMMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES
Today the countdown to my trip to the US starts. Normally I’d be dreading the idea of 8 hours on a plane, but this time I am going without the kids. 8 hours in a cardboard box all by myself sounds like a dream vacation. As I’ll be traveling alone, I can booze it up […]
NO MORE NAKED BUTTS
Baby bottoms are the cutest thing you have ever seen, as long as you are *not* the parent of said child. Unfortunately, the full moon at my house is connected to the fruit of my loins. Damn. So that means that I am stuck chasing a nearly two year old around the house with a […]
SO MY WEEK SUCKED
Do you ever have one of those weeks that just completely sucks? Where every traffic light you pass turns red, the kids constantly fight and your fat jeans feel tight? The highlight of my week was when my kids mistook eggplant rollatini for pizza and cleaned their plates. That should tell you something. I am […]
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A MOM IF…
So I had a rough night last night, but at least I could find some humor in the situation. At first I thanked god that my husband didn’t catch me crabwalking out of our youngest daughter’s bedroom early this morning. Then I began plotting ways to get even with him and her for me having […]
AN ODE TO MY HOUSE CLEANER
Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways: I love that you never complain about the dried bits of playdoh crumbled under the kitchen table. I love that you dispose of all of my wayward hairs from the floor. You keep me from realizing that the kids have made me pull out all […]